Fake First Dates
by Suki-Alanna
Summary: James and Lily go on what is generally thought to be their first date and a snowball fight ensues.


1. In Which Sirius Black is an Idiot

I've never professed to be Sirius's biggest fan. I mean, sure, he's James's best mate and I rather like James, seeing as how I'm dating him and all—sorry, maybe you need a bit of context. My name is Lily Evans and I'm an idiot, or so said James Potter...

_Fifth Year_

"Get out of my bedroom, Potter! How did you get up here anyway?" I screeched.

"Your bedroom? God, Evans, you have five perfectly nice roommates! How do you know it wasn't one of them who invited me?" Potter yelled back.

"Hm... let's see." I ticked them off on my fingers. "Emmeline Vance, who barely knows you. Mary MacDonald, who has a boyfriend. Marlene Krommer, who is infatuated with—well, who she is or isn't infatuated with isn't the point! And, lastly, Christine, who is your ex! So tell me, Potter, if not for me, then why are you here?"

"You always need answers! Do you really want to know?‽"

"Yes!"

"I'm here because Jennifer let it slip that today is your birthday—"

"That sixth year Hufflepuff? How did she know?" Marlene asked.

"Shut up, Mar, it's getting good!" Mary reprimanded her.

"—and I wanted to do something nice for you, since Emma told me you lost your potions book and I was looking for it for you and found it, but you're such an idiot and so close-minded that you can't even realize that sometimes people want to do nice things for you! I used to think that you were infalliable and perfect when you're really just a total bitch!"

James and I stood there staring at each other, James panting slightly from his rant. Tears were pricking at my eyes. "It's nice to know what you think of me, Potter," I said.

"Lily, wait, no!" He said.

"Leave me alone, Potter," I replied.

_Seventh Year_

Right, back to Sirius. With him being a bit behind due to me insisting that James and I keep our relationship private (why he didn't tell Sirius I'll never know) he was still insisting that the two of us get together and go on at least one date. Which, in fact, we were going on in about three hours.

_Four days before..._

"Evans, I don't particularly care about you, but James is one of my best mates, so I've collected some evidence for you. As... Francois De La Rochefoucald said, 'True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.' And I say that you and Lily have found true love. You're everyone's dream couple, soaring in the skies... You've seen ghosts unless you're blind, so obviously you're part of the lucky few—"

Sirius obviously had more to say in his rambling speech, but James cut him off. "You should probably stop now while your words still make a bit of sense, mate."

"All I'm saying is that the course of true love never did run smooth like that Shakespear—"

"Shakespeare," I corrected.

"Whatever. You had to fall in love with a bird with brains, didn't you, Prongs?" Sirius walked away.

I leaned close to James. "You loooovvveee me."

"Shut up."

_Four days later..._

After a lot of similar pestering James finally caved. Instead of telling Sirius that we were a couple, which would be the logical thing to do, he instead agreed to go on a date with me. It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before the Christmas hols, and Hogwarts students were flocking to the village.

"It's a nice day for a first date," James said.

"You're an idiot," I said with a grudging smile.

"You love me anyway," he said. "And I bet you treated this like a date when you were getting ready."

I rolled my eyes, but the truth was I had. It had taken me ages to decide on my outfit, which ended up being completely casual anyway.

James wrapped an arm around me. "So, if you ruled the world, what would you do?"

"What?" I asked.

"If you ruled the world, what would you do?" He asked again. "I know I'm stunning, Evans, but you should try to pay attention to what I'm saying."

"Why are you asking, James?"

"Oh," he paused. "We're on a first date, aren't we? So shouldn't we ask those awkward first date questions?"

"We aren't actually on a first date, remember? Anyway, there are plenty of—"

"Get down," James said suddenly. He tackled me into the snow.

"Wha—" I started to ask, but a snowball flew past where I was standing. "Oh. My hero."

"Stop following us, Padfoot!" James shouted.

"Stop following your ass, Prongs!" Someone, probably Sirius, shouted back.

I pushed James off me and stood up. "Are your stupid mates going to follow us for the whole date?"

James shrugged. "Probably."

"Well then," I said quietly, making sure that no one but James could hear, just in case, "we'll have to retaliate."

"I like the way you think, Lily," James replied with a nod.

_Five minutes later..._

"Ready, aim... FIRE!" James shouted. I flicked my wand and the pile of snow gathered in the awning above Zonko's fell right onto Sirius and Remus. A snowball hit James and he turned to fire one back at Peter. A full out snow war had started. I tossed one at Remus, but it hit Mary, whose shy boyfriend Reg Cattermole threw one at James but, having terrible aim, his Sirius, who lobbed one at Marlene, probably for the heck of it.

_Two hours later..._

"Successful first date, I would say," James whispered into my ear. We were curled up around the fire in the Gryffindor common room along with most of the Gryffindor seventh years who has somehow all managed to end up in our fight. "You never did answer my question. If you ruled the world, what would you do?"

"I would murder you," I responded.

"But you loooooove me," he said.

"Shut up," I muttered back. He laughed, a deep rumbling sound. I smiled contentedly. All was right with my world.

**This is for owluvr. Sorry it's short. And random. And odd.  
**

**I don't own HP.  
**

**Prompts: **dream, soaring, "The course of true love never did run smooth." -William Shakespeare, "True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about, but few have seen." "What do you want me to say?", infallible, snow


End file.
